December 7, 2021
It is impossible to think that I am even having to write this, especially after only 2 months since my sweet Katie passed away.
For the past few years Millie has had kidney disease which has been very manageable with medication and constant lab work to check on her status. Only this past August her numbers were unchanged and we were told to continue on as usual. A month ago, Millie began to feel unwell and I took her to the vet. Lab work was done and her kidney values had DRASTICALLY CHANGED in only a few short months. She was in total kidney failure. We were told there was no way to “save her life” but with very aggressive IV therapy and medication we could try to “extend it” for a little longer. As long as she was not in pain and was happy and continuing to give out licks, this is what we decided to do. For 3 weeks we tried EVERYTHING POSSIBLE! I kept her at home this entire time and treated her at home. I knew that every day could be her last, and I loved her and cuddled her and petted on her until I think she was sick of me bothering her all the time! LOL In the early morning hours of December 1, she woke me up, scratching at my back. She was in a delirious state, could no longer walk and I don’t think she knew where she was… but I DO THINK she crawled over to me in the bed to wake me up and tell me she was done. She was tired and ready to go. We took her to the ER and spent an hour or so with her and then helped her cross that bridge.
It was the hardest thing I think I will ever have to do. I have lost my best little friend. Millie has never left my side since the day I got her… she was only 2 days past her 15th birthday. I can’t even imagine my life without her. She has ALWAYS been next to me!
After she was gone, I dressed her in a harness that I had made a few years ago… with a tiny print of the streets of Paris, where we spent so many wonderful times together. Next I put a matching bow in her hair that was also made by me. As I dressed her, I whispered to her that this was the last time I would ever get her dressed. I just couldn’t send her out of this world with no clothes… being the little DIVA that she was!!! So she was cremated in that Paris harness and hairbow that her Mummy made for her with so much love.
Right now, I cannot even breathe. My heart is shattered. In two months my little Katie is gone and my little Millie is gone too! It is too much for a person to bear. It has taken me a week to even make this post because MAKING IT, makes it all REAL. I will read your comments and I appreciate your love but please understand that I just cannot reply to anything. I can barely talk. I can barely get up each day. It is only taking care of Tulip and Addie Mae that even makes me get up at all. If I could cry myself to heaven to be with them… I would be there already. My Millie is gone.