Dressing the Dog, Chapter 17-Part One

DRESSING THE DOG

Chapter 17 (Part One)

“This life is what you make it.’”

– Marilyn Monroe –

We were running low on our home-cooked food, so last night, Mummy set about to prepare a batch that would last us through the remainder of our trip.  It isn’t really rocket science – just some ground beef, rice and fresh-diced veggies… but it’s better for us than any store-bought food, and we have been eating this way for at least 10 years now.  Mummy loves cooking for us.  So much so that she even included a chapter of doggie recipes in our cookbook (you can find it in our on-line BOUTIQUE) so that other people could see how easy it is to cook for their own pups!  As she puttered around our postage stamp-sized kitchen in the AIRSTREAM, she felt Daddy’s eyes critically following her every movement.  “WHAT?!?!?” she finally exclaimed.  Daddy got up from the sofa where he was SUPPOSED to be watching TV and told her to just sit down… stating that she was taking too long and he could make it a WHOLE LOT FASTER!  -sigh –  Honestly, there was no need for speed.  We weren’t going anywhere.  We were “in” for the night.  What was the rush?  Mummy threw up her arms, went to the bedroom and began to read her book while the four of us yorkies stayed in the kitchen and waited anxiously for scraps of food to fall on the floor.  It didn’t take long for the smoke detector to begin blaring.  Something was on fire!!!  Mummy jumped up from the bed to investigate… and there by the sink stood Daddy, holding a tea towel that was scorched at one corner.  Mummy didn’t say a word.  She only exchanged a silent stare with Daddy to which he replied, “I KNOW!”  “Can I finish cooking their food now?” Mummy asked.  “Yes.”  That was all he said.  Oh brother.  I mean REALLY… all we want is some FOOD!  Does it have to be such an ordeal?  We really don’t give a flying fig who makes it.

The next morning we were packed up in record time and headed to Heber City, Utah where we planned to visit with our friends, “Owned By Yorkies.”  I had met them before when they lived in California, but Daddy and my sisters had NEVER met them so this would be a real treat for ALL OF US to meet as one huge yorkie family.  There would be a total of SEVEN YORKIES.  I mean WOW!  We were so excited we could hardly sit still while Mummy and Daddy got us all safely hooked into our carseats in the truck.  We had several hours of driving before arriving at our RV Park, and Mummy always wanted to make detours along the way.  Fortunately, in this area of the country, things were so beautiful that even Daddy was willing to make a side trip or two in order to see some of the sights.  Daddy was more of a “mountain man” and Mummy was more of a “city girl with one foot always in the ocean” so there was usually a tug-of-war going on when they wanted to see something on the road.  But up here in this part of the country… they both agreed.  It was pretty special up here.  We made a stop at a place called “Guardsman Pass” that was just outside Park City, Utah.  Man, it was just about at the TOP OF THE WORLD and Mummy told us that it was billed as one of the most famous drives in all of Utah!!!  There were beautiful wildflowers and aspen trees overlooking the little towns far below and I’ll admit that it truly took our breath away.

Driving in the truck for a long time can really get tiresome, even when you are looking at pretty things… so the next day we decided to check out the local festival that was going on in town.  There would be food vendors, crafts, music and lots of shops to explore… and it was a good chance to get out and stretch our legs.  Well, Mummy and Daddy would stretch THEIR legs and the four of us would be carried because we still didn’t have a stroller.  One hour later, we were still driving around looking for a parking place.  I kid you not.  ONE HOUR.  There was lots of good stuff to see at this fair, but if we didn’t find a place soon, the only thing that we were gonna see were the crowded streets, because Daddy had reached his limit.  At that very moment, a car pulled out of a PRIME SPOT and Daddy whipped in and the search was over.  The four of us tumbled out of our carseats in fits and starts and into our parents waiting arms.  Mummy carried two of us in a carrying bag on her shoulder, while Daddy carried the other two under his arms.  He had long ago refused to use the cute little chest carriers that Mummy had purchased for the trip.    –sigh- (We REALLY needed a stroller, but every time Mummy saw one in a pet store, he REFUSED to even discuss the matter.) We walked past lots of little blue outhouses all around the fair… in our part of the country they are called “Johnny-on-the-the-Jobs” but up here, they call them “Honey Buckets.”  I don’t like to talk badly about other people and their customs, but I’m just going to say that NOTHING about those things even remotely reminds you of honey.  Later, when Mummy said that she had to potty, Daddy laughed and suggested that she use one of the “Honey Buckets” and Mummy said that she would DIE FIRST… so there’s that.  We strolled around, ate lunch, posed for pictures and shopped.  Mummy found a SUPER COOL pair of faux-fur trimmed blue jeans that she was crazy about but Daddy said if she bought them, he would not go ANYWHERE with her if she wore them.  He said they looked like something CHER would wear and he couldn’t think of one single place where Mummy could even wear them.  She said she would wear them around the house.  He said even THERE they would not be appropriate.  LOLOLOLOLOL  She didn’t get the jeans, but to this day, she still thinks about them.

After several hours at the festival, we decided to head over to a little cheese shop in Midway, Utah that we had read about.  They were supposed to have some really good cheese and Mummy and Daddy wanted to get some to go with their wine.  Outside of the shop they had this really cute wooden cut-out display, where you stick your face in the hole and have your picture taken in a painted dairy scene.  “OH MY GOSH,” Mummy said…. “The girls will look so cute with their little faces sticking out of the holes!”  She got Daddy to hide behind the board and hold us up so that we could look through the holes… but it didn’t exactly go as planned.  Daddy was having to hold up the four of us with both hands, so he didn’t have an extra hand to guide our heads into the holes, and the four of us were struggling to stay in his hands, while fighting with each other to see out of the holes.  Addie Mae pushed ME out of the way so I couldn’t see out of my hole, and Katie and Tulip were not even paying attention to Mummy’s instructions AT ALL!  Daddy was behind the board yelling, “COME ON ALREADY!”  I was doing what I could to encourage my sisters to LISTEN TO MUMMY and look at the camera, but my words were lost in the wind.  I didn’t know what to do.  Honestly, I felt like a disappointed parent.  The whole thing was a disaster.  So you see, not all of our photoshoots are perfect!  The picture speaks for itself.

The next day was the 4^th of July and we were FINALLY going to see our friends, “OWNED BY YORKIES.”  We were meeting at their house for a BBQ and playtime.  You have never seen so much barking and playing and happy faces until you see SEVEN LITTLE YORKIES get together with little wagging, nubby tails!  The group included Corinne, Priscilla, Georgia, Addie Mae, Tulip, Katie and Millie… and our parents, of course.  It was such a wonderful afternoon with lots of pictures taken, lots of running and playing, and licks all around.  Mummy and Ms. Nanette planned to have lunch the next day at Robert Redford’s resort, “Sundance.”  But that’s not exactly what happened.  Mummy LOVES Robert Redford and had HIGH HOPES that perhaps he would be eating lunch in the restaurant or something… but once they arrived, Ms. Nanette offered up another suggestion.  “How about doing the Zip Line that they have here?” That’s what she said. “Do you like to Zip Line?” Ummmmm, well… Mummy had never gone on a Zip Line but it SOUNDED interesting.  Was Robert up there???  No…  he was probably not up there.  Was he in the restaurant???  No… he was not there either.  Ummm… OK, Mummy said that perhaps they could change their plans and do the Zip Line then… since they weren’t going to see Robert Redford either way.  They got all outfitted up in their Zip Line gear/crash gear and headed up to the top of the mountain… on a ski lift.  “Wow,” Mummy said.  “This is a LONG WAY UP HERE!”  They went higher and higher into the heavens until they finally reached the last platform and were told to get off.  It was time.  To go down.  “Wow,” Mummy said.  “That is a LONG WAY DOWN THERE!”  Ms. Nanette claimed that she had Zip Lined before and loved it.  Mummy had never done it, although she does like roller coasters… but they were not that high and you are inside of some sort of CAR… not hanging out in heaven with the angels.  There was no time to think about it now and really, there was only one way down at this point.  They were both hooked up and informed how to speed up and how to slow down.  When you saw the approaching platform, you were required to start slowing down WAY IN ADVANCE in order to keep from crashing into the padded poles.  Yes… they got that part!!!!  Ms. Nanette went down MUCH FASTER than Mummy, who was more controlled, but still going very fast and SO HIGH above the treetops that there really wasn’t much point worrying about falling because… well, there was no chance of survival if you fell, so she just tried to enjoy the ride.  Things went pretty well at first… slowing down and stopping at each appropriate platform on the way down, until there was one last platform to go.  Mummy was glad that this was almost over.  While Daddy had spent the day fly-fishing, he thought she was eating lunch with “maybe” Robert Redford, when actually her life had been in mortal danger.  Only five minutes to go.  It was time to start slowing down… the platform was ahead.  But wait, something was WRONG!  The brake was not working properly!  Mummy pushed and pulled, and all she did was SPEED UP instead of SLOW DOWN!  She did everything she could and nothing happened.  Her life ACTUALLY flashed before her eyes.  Ms. Nanette was already standing on the platform waiting for Mummy.  The employees were all frantically waving their arms, screaming at her to SLOW DOWN.  It was no use.  The brakes were just not working right.  The platform was approaching.  Then the world went BLACK.  And then, there was light… people were everywhere.  Screaming, ARE YOU OK? ARE YOU OK?  WE NEED TO CALL AN AMBULANCE!  Mummy said that she was OK though.  She must have blacked out when she hit the padded pole, but she was OK.  She could move and nothing seemed to be hurt.  She explained that the brake would not work and she was unable to slow down.  She had to sign a bunch of waivers and in her haste to get out of there, she didn’t realize that she could have insisted that if Robert Redford come over to the platform… she would forget the whole incident.  She regrets this to this very day.  Her missed opportunity.

Ms. Nanette got Mummy back to the AIRSTREAM and made sure that she really WAS OK .  Daddy was already back from his fishing trip when they arrived, so we sat there and listened to the terrifying story while the two moms re-lived their afternoon experience.  Mummy said that she went to have lunch with Robert Redford and almost died in the process.  Daddy said that he would fix her a sandwich for dinner and she could eat with him instead, and Mummy just looked at him.  Daddy is so funny sometimes.  Everyone said goodbye because we had plans to leave for Colorado in the morning, but our trip to Utah had been one that none of us would ever forget.  We didn’t have much longer left of our “Summer Adventure” but there were still lots of exciting adventures ahead of us before we got home.

♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥     ♥

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